I apologize in advance for any damage I cause by making you see all of these things at once.
1). Bandage Skirts: I know many of you just screeched "what?!" when you read that. Either because you had no clue there was an article of clothing named after something we use to wrap open wounds in, or because you love them and can't believe I would include them in this group. Either way, let me explain. Wrapping your hind end and upper thighs in something so tight does absolutely nothing for your body. It shows every little dimple and creates more bumps and lumps then you probably have. Also, something that is so tight has a tendency to ride up when you walk or move at all, which in turn causes the wearer to be constantly tugging at their skirt to keep it from becoming a belt. I am somewhat ok with them as an extra measure of coverage over leggings, but please please please, for the love of God and all that is holy, do NOT wear these skirts and think they are making you look skinnier. Cause they aren't.
2). Saggy Butt: I don't know why designers thought it would be a good idea to create pants that have a crotch that goes down to your knees. They did it in the '80's and it wasn't good, so why did they decide to bring it back?! Most people are striving to find a way to camouflage their rear end, and all these pants are doing is making even 18 year olds in the best of shape look like they have a really bad case of saggy butt. Also, saggy pants make your thighs look bigger too. Now, if having giant thighs and a giant butt is what you are going for, than by all means wear these pants. But, I think I am safe in assuming that most of you are looking for the opposite from your clothing, so just say no to saggy butt.
3). Jumpsuits: The fact that these are what people wear in prison should be enough for us to not want to buy them, but apparently it's not. I will admit that the girl in the picture I'm using looks pretty darn good in that jumpsuit, however, most people are not runway models and most jumpsuits don't look like that. I'm not going to say that all jumpsuits everywhere are forbidden because I have seen some people pull them off and give the appearance that they are just wearing a perfectly matching pant and blouse set. However, since most jumpsuits that are ready available to the masses are made out of jersey material and resemble swimsuit cover ups more than real clothing, please just stay away. Also, they do nothing for your butt and thighs either. Why people keep insisting on drawing attention to an area that is a problem area for 90% of woman beats me.
4). Rompers: This is basically just the short version of a jumpsuit and has all the same problems. However, I am a little more forgiving with these. I totally get the idea of a romper as a beach coverup, sleepwear, or even something to just lounge about the house in. They can be cute, and I am sure they can be comfy. However, rompers as normal clothing have many hazards. The first hazard they present is the "butt cheek overflow" issue. Rompers tend to be very short and when the person wearing them bends over, everyone in the room gets a little show. Secondly, they present a problem for women who are different sizes on top and on bottom (which I would venture to say is most women). If you want it to fit your upper body it may be too small on the bottom (this would be my problem) creating that ever so awesome wedgy affect. The other way around and you run the risk of flashing people with the slightest move. So, play it safe ladies and please just restrict these to swimsuit coverups (when you are at the pool or beach... don't just start wearing your bathing suit around and saying "Look! It's just a coverup!" because I won't fall for that) and home lounging outfits.
5). I'm going to stop picking on the girls now and turn my attention to the biggest trendy tragedy of men's fashion. SKINNY JEANS! I've already written a whole post on this over at Southern Creative Men, so I won't say much here. All I've got to say is guys, just stop. If you want girls to think you're sexy, then stop wearing pants that constantly remind her how much skinnier your thighs are than hers. If your thighs aren't skinny, then all you're doing is making yourself look chunkier. Just stop.
6). Leggings as Pants: Leggings are a tool, not a weapon. Use them wisely, and cover your butt. Think of your fellow man. We have eyes and we don't want to have to gouge them out. Leggings are all fine and good underneath skirts or dresses or even long tunic style shirts. Just make sure they cover your butt. Please.
7). Last, but certainly not least, quite possibly the greatest trendy tragedy of all time.... Ugg boots and Shorts. Is it hot? Is it cold? Make up your mind!! If it is cold enough to wear ugg boots than it is cold enough that you should be covering your thighs. If it is warm enough to wear shorts, why in the world are you wearing Ugg boots? Sadly, this is the one tragedy I had a hard time getting a picture of that didn't distort. However, you have all seen it and you all know what I'm talking about. This look isn't cute. However, I will give you one exception. If you are like me and prefer to wear shorts to bed even when it's freezing outside, and you want to get up and keep your tootsies warm while you are lounging about the house then fine, slip on your Uggs. Just promise me you won't leave the house like that. Ok?
I know this post was feistier than normal, but sometimes the truth hurts. Just because something is "in style" doesn't mean it is a good thing or that it flatters your body at all. Every person should own a full length mirror so they can take a good look at themselves from all angles before leaving the house. I have a New Years Resolution for you... in 2012 resolve to only wear what looks good on you.
Happy New Year!
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