What I've Learned About Fashion, Body Image, and Wanting What We Don't Have

Do you love everything about your body? My guess is no. I don't think I've met a single woman who doesn't wish something was different about their body. Too tall, too short, too round, too skinny, too many curves, not enough curves, big arms, chicken arms, big thighs, thighs the size of a normal persons arm... the list goes on and on. This topic has been on my mind because I have never liked being tall. I am 5'9" and always wanted to be 5'6". I love heels, but I don't love being 6 feet tall when I wear them. I have gone back and forth my whole life about whether I am just going to rock being tall and not worry about it or if I'm going to try and mask it. Honestly, I think it changes every day. I know a lot of people out there would kill to be tall, and that just further proves my point that we always want what we don't have.

So, since I can't do anything about my height or my body type or the fact that 4 inch heels seem to have a gravitational pull on them, I guess I'll suck it up and work on the mental game behind it all. It's amazing that we can so quickly forget the beauty in being unique and diverse. It's so easy to look around and compare what we don't like about ourselves (or what we do like) to those around us. Strangers or friends, it doesn't matter. We still compare. I have been actively trying to catch each thought that goes through my head about wishing I was something other than I am. It isn't healthy and there is nothing we can do about it. If you have hips, guess what... they won't go anywhere no matter how much weight you lose, and they will probably look a lot better if you don't get to skinny. Your body is your body no matter what, the physical shape of your skeleton is not going to change and it's about time we stopped wanting it to.

The great thing about fashion is that you get to choose what parts of your body you love and want to show off and what parts you aren't too thrilled about and want to camouflage. Clothes are meant to give us confidence and give us an outlet to express who we are. If bright colors make you happy, than wear them. I don't care if someone told you that you are an "autumn" or a "winter". Ignore them. If you are tall, rock the maxi skirts and dresses with flats or wedges or whatever you love and pretend you are a super model. If you are short, wear clothes that make you appear longer and the fun part about your body type is you can wear whatever height heel you want and no one will even think twice about the fact that they can suddenly look straight in your eyes.

Country singer Miranda Lambert was just on the cover of SELF with extremely minimal photo editing (you can see it here: https://www.facebook.com/mirandalambert). She had little roles on her stomach and her thighs and butt look like a normal persons. Her headline was all about toning up and embracing your curves. I love this idea. Be fit and healthy and embrace your natural body type. Miranda has always been interesting to me. She is a tiny human being, but she is not a skinny tiny human being. Her weight goes up and down like everyone else's, but unfortunately for her she still has to be in the public eye no matter how she looks. I love that Miranda's cover photo made people feel like they could relate to her instead of see another unrealistically skinny actress or model who looks like that because they 1). Are photoshopped, 2). They only eat 1000 calories a day, and 3). They are paid to look like that. Hollywood cannot be our standard of what we should look like. We've got to let that go.

My guess is that this process of embracing your body type is a lifelong process. It is a daily mental game where you have to believe that you are unique and beautiful and made the way you are for a reason. Choose to focus on what is awesome about your body and learn to love what isn't so awesome. Believe me, I'm talking to myself just as much as I am to all of you. Insecurity is a universal struggle, and I think it's time we give it a little less victory in our lives.