*Disclaimer: This is not a political/ethical statement about Dove or any of its parent/sister companies. I am not addressing what Dove as a company supports or the ingredients they use in their product. Please do not go into that in the comments of this post. Let's just keep this encouraging and focused on the point. Real beauty.
About a week ago Dove posted a promo video for their "Real Beauty" campaign that showed a few different women describing themselves to an artist who couldn't see them. Then the artist had another woman from the group (and one guy) describe that same woman so he could sketch a second picture. It was designed to show that what most women see when they look in the mirror is not what other people see. This seems like a very universal truth. For the most part, I don't know a single woman who sees themselves accurately. I don't know a single woman who doesn't see at least 10 "flaws" when they look at themselves in the mirror. Most of these flaws they see are invisible to everyone else, and as Dove was trying to portray, these flaws don't only not exist, but they are seen as something beautiful by another person.
We as a culture (and maybe a gender) are professional flaw finders. We can look at something and find at least one flaw in its make up in about 5 seconds. This video was unfortunately not immune. What was meant to be a statement about how women are more beautiful then they think they are, and an encouragement for women everywhere to see their unique qualities as something beautiful that sets them apart and makes them uniquely them was analyzed and made out to be something that was saying that only blonde, thin, 20-40 something women are beautiful (this was done by some, definitely not all). It broke my heart a little bit when I saw that kind of reaction. Sure, maybe Dove could have used more ethnically diverse women or older women or heavier women, but I think if we focus on that flaw in the video we are missing the point entirely. The point is that even women who we see as flawless (i.e. too perfect to be part of a campaign for "real women"), see themselves as deeply flawed when it comes to their appearance. We watch that video and think "none of these women have anything to be insecure about" or "this isn't a good 'cross section' of the ethnic diversity in America and the world", and we are just perpetuating the need for these kind of campaigns. Why do we think we can look at a woman and say "she has no reason to be insecure"? Who gave us the ability to see into a person's deepest hurt and insecurity?
I think it's safe to assume that all women could benefit from this. If you have problems with the ethnicities of these women, then get passed it and put yourself in the situation these women were put in. Don't put up the wall of deciding this isn't worth listening to. How would you describe yourself? How do you think other women would describe you? I think you'd be shocked to see the difference.
We may never be "perfect" but who decides the definition of perfect anyway? What you may see as a flaw, other women envy. I think that says something about our beliefs that there is a certain measurable standard of beauty. We have bought into the lie that being rail thin, blonde, having perfectly thick and shiny hair, long shapely legs, perfect arms, and a flat stomach is the final stamp of approval for beauty. Who made that decision and why are we listening to them? Why are we wasting precious hours of our lives striving to be physically perfect when lets face it, according to that standard, time is working against us and it's going to win. Why not embrace our body's God-given design and strive to live our lives in a healthy, vibrant, and joy-filled way. How much more time would we have for other's if we stopped spending so much time with our insecurities?
If you haven't seen the video, you can watch it here. Keep in mind, real women come in all shapes, skin colors, and ages. Including the one's we may think are two thin to be "real".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk
All in all, I think Dove deserves applause for at least attempting to portray real women in their commercials and to spread a message that women in our world desperately need. Child, you are more beautiful than you think.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
No One Can See Your Tag.. Just Buy Clothes That Fit.
I was going through my clothes the other day in order to decide what I really need to get rid of and what I want to keep for post baby. This is when it hit me. Almost none of my clothes are the same size. None!! Since High School my pants sizes have ranged from a size 6 to a size 12 depending on the brand. Dresses range from size 2 to size 12, and I don't even want to talk about how different my skirt sizes are. So in order to keep my sanity, this is my new mantra when it comes to buying clothes: "No one can see your tag, so just buy clothes that fit." In other words, we have to let go of our preconceived notions about what size we should be because that is an impossible number to attain. Sizes change from designer to designer and sadly, from one pair of pants to another. Because clothes are sewn, they can be sewn differently each time.
Alas, we just have to try things on and try them on and try them on. Don't worry about the size! It doesn't mean you've gained weight, and sadly sometimes it doesn't mean you've lost weight. I struggle with this every time I go shopping (not so much now because I have this large belly situation going on for awhile longer!), and it is totally understandable. However, you can either spend your life freaking out over what size you think you are or should be, or you can make a decision to buy clothes that fit regardless of what the tag says. Why should the tag matter? If you are healthy, happy, and confident then get clothes that fit and walk out of that store with your head held high because your worth has nothing to do with what that tag says anyway.
Who wants to join my "who cares what that tag says" club?
Alas, we just have to try things on and try them on and try them on. Don't worry about the size! It doesn't mean you've gained weight, and sadly sometimes it doesn't mean you've lost weight. I struggle with this every time I go shopping (not so much now because I have this large belly situation going on for awhile longer!), and it is totally understandable. However, you can either spend your life freaking out over what size you think you are or should be, or you can make a decision to buy clothes that fit regardless of what the tag says. Why should the tag matter? If you are healthy, happy, and confident then get clothes that fit and walk out of that store with your head held high because your worth has nothing to do with what that tag says anyway.
Who wants to join my "who cares what that tag says" club?
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
The One Where I Attempt to Help You Feel Better In Your Clothes During the Early Stages of Your Pregnancy.
I've been thinking about how I would write about pregnancy fashion since I'm now trying to figure out how to dress my new shape without buying an entirely new wardrobe. It's not easy! I'm just under 4 months along so I'm finally getting to the point where my belly looks like a pregnant belly instead of a chubby belly, but it's still not quite formed enough for me to be super comfortable in everything. Can any of you other pregnant or formerly pregnant ladies relate to the feeling that maternity clothes don't quite work yet and normal clothes are just about not working either? I'm sure you've wondered the same thing "If these clothes don't fit... and these clothes don't fit... WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO WEAR?!?!" Especially since people frown on nudity in public.
I decided instead of telling you what to wear, I would tell you a couple things that have gotten me through the first few months where most people are still giving you the "Is she pregnant or does she just really like cake..." look.
1). H&M: Once again, this gem of a store comes through. The only downside to H&M is that their normally small sizes don't change at all for maternity. I am actually the exact same size in maternity pants that I am in normal pants there. So, if you already know you fit in their pants (which i'm telling you, don't feel bad if you don't because I'm pretty sure their designers do the majority of their sketches using stick people) then you will fit just splendidly in their maternity pants. Even in maternity pants I have the problem with the waist being to big in order to fit my thighs right but I'm coming to terms with my lot in life... i.e. constantly pulling up my pants.
The maternity section (atleast in Temecula) is very small and doesn't have a huge selection so you won't be able to find everything you need there but it's still pretty cheap and has some cute things. It's also in the same section as the baby clothes, which is just rude. How am I supposed to not buy baby clothes when H&M is flaunting them in front of me like that?
I discovered yesterday that H&M's tank dresses (they look like uber long tank tops) might possibly get me through being pregnant in the Southern California heat this summer. Them, and the beach. I always assumed they would be about mid thigh length and something only to be warn over leggings, but I bought one yesterday and tried it on and it's actually almost knee length and thick enough to be worn on it's own. Unless you are one of those sick people who stays their tiny size zero self even with a baby belly *cough cough* my sister in law *cough cough*, it's definitely a "wait until your belly really pops out" piece of clothing. I am almost to the point where I could wear it comfortably and not be concerned that people think I've just got a food baby. Nevertheless, it's beyond comfortable.
2). Target: Target has finally figured out how to make women feel better about themselves when trying on pants... but only if your pregnant. Target's sizes are notoriously odd when it comes to pants, but they are awesome when it comes to maternity pants. I found two pairs of jeans there both in a size smaller than I had been wearing before I got pregnant. Nobody say a word about how they probably oversize those because I like the world i'm living in. They don't have a ton of options, but they have some good capris. I'm tempted by the mint green ones every time, but I figure I probably don't need another pair of pants I won't be able to wear after the baby comes. Who knows what I'll feel like wearing when the next baby rolls around! The other great buy at Target is their maternity leggings. They are super comfy because they have the belly band that doesn't cut off all circulation to your upper extremities like normal waste bands do now.
So, those are my two non-maternity only stores that are cheap and convenient and don't make you feel like the frump monster. Any maxi dress (with stretch) is also fantastically wonderful now that the weather is warming up here (hang in there the rest of the country!). Also, I think I'll be buying several different swimsuit coverups that aren't see through and existing primarily in those and bathings suits while i'm at home during the summer. Sound like a plan?
I hope this helps some of you who are also in the early stages of pregnancy. I'll post more on pregnancy stuff as my pregnancy progresses, but remember that your style itself doesn't need to change because your pregnant. It may just take some tweaking to make it work with that lovely bump that is now protruding from your abdomen.
I decided instead of telling you what to wear, I would tell you a couple things that have gotten me through the first few months where most people are still giving you the "Is she pregnant or does she just really like cake..." look.
1). H&M: Once again, this gem of a store comes through. The only downside to H&M is that their normally small sizes don't change at all for maternity. I am actually the exact same size in maternity pants that I am in normal pants there. So, if you already know you fit in their pants (which i'm telling you, don't feel bad if you don't because I'm pretty sure their designers do the majority of their sketches using stick people) then you will fit just splendidly in their maternity pants. Even in maternity pants I have the problem with the waist being to big in order to fit my thighs right but I'm coming to terms with my lot in life... i.e. constantly pulling up my pants.
The maternity section (atleast in Temecula) is very small and doesn't have a huge selection so you won't be able to find everything you need there but it's still pretty cheap and has some cute things. It's also in the same section as the baby clothes, which is just rude. How am I supposed to not buy baby clothes when H&M is flaunting them in front of me like that?
I discovered yesterday that H&M's tank dresses (they look like uber long tank tops) might possibly get me through being pregnant in the Southern California heat this summer. Them, and the beach. I always assumed they would be about mid thigh length and something only to be warn over leggings, but I bought one yesterday and tried it on and it's actually almost knee length and thick enough to be worn on it's own. Unless you are one of those sick people who stays their tiny size zero self even with a baby belly *cough cough* my sister in law *cough cough*, it's definitely a "wait until your belly really pops out" piece of clothing. I am almost to the point where I could wear it comfortably and not be concerned that people think I've just got a food baby. Nevertheless, it's beyond comfortable.
2). Target: Target has finally figured out how to make women feel better about themselves when trying on pants... but only if your pregnant. Target's sizes are notoriously odd when it comes to pants, but they are awesome when it comes to maternity pants. I found two pairs of jeans there both in a size smaller than I had been wearing before I got pregnant. Nobody say a word about how they probably oversize those because I like the world i'm living in. They don't have a ton of options, but they have some good capris. I'm tempted by the mint green ones every time, but I figure I probably don't need another pair of pants I won't be able to wear after the baby comes. Who knows what I'll feel like wearing when the next baby rolls around! The other great buy at Target is their maternity leggings. They are super comfy because they have the belly band that doesn't cut off all circulation to your upper extremities like normal waste bands do now.
So, those are my two non-maternity only stores that are cheap and convenient and don't make you feel like the frump monster. Any maxi dress (with stretch) is also fantastically wonderful now that the weather is warming up here (hang in there the rest of the country!). Also, I think I'll be buying several different swimsuit coverups that aren't see through and existing primarily in those and bathings suits while i'm at home during the summer. Sound like a plan?
I hope this helps some of you who are also in the early stages of pregnancy. I'll post more on pregnancy stuff as my pregnancy progresses, but remember that your style itself doesn't need to change because your pregnant. It may just take some tweaking to make it work with that lovely bump that is now protruding from your abdomen.
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