Thursday, April 25, 2013

Real Beauty and Real Insecurity

*Disclaimer: This is not a political/ethical statement about Dove or any of its parent/sister companies. I am not addressing what Dove as a company supports or the ingredients they use in their product. Please do not go into that in the comments of this post. Let's just keep this encouraging and focused on the point. Real beauty.

About a week ago Dove posted a promo video for their "Real Beauty" campaign that showed a few different women describing themselves to an artist who couldn't see them. Then the artist had another woman from the group (and one guy) describe that same woman so he could sketch a second picture. It was designed to show that what most women see when they look in the mirror is not what other people see. This seems like a very universal truth. For the most part, I don't know a single woman who sees themselves accurately. I don't know a single woman who doesn't see at least 10 "flaws" when they look at themselves in the mirror. Most of these flaws they see are invisible to everyone else, and as Dove was trying to portray, these flaws don't only not exist, but they are seen as something beautiful by another person.

We as a culture (and maybe a gender) are professional flaw finders. We can look at something and find at least one flaw in its make up in about 5 seconds. This video was unfortunately not immune. What was meant to be a statement about how women are more beautiful then they think they are, and an encouragement for women everywhere to see their unique qualities as something beautiful that sets them apart and makes them uniquely them was analyzed and made out to be something that was saying that only blonde, thin, 20-40 something women are beautiful (this was done by some, definitely not all).  It broke my heart a little bit when I saw that kind of reaction. Sure, maybe Dove could have used more ethnically diverse women or older women or heavier women, but I think if we focus on that flaw in the video we are missing the point entirely. The point is that even women who we see as flawless (i.e. too perfect to be part of a campaign for "real women"), see themselves as deeply flawed when it comes to their appearance. We watch that video and think "none of these women have anything to be insecure about" or "this isn't a good 'cross section' of the ethnic diversity in America and the world", and we are just perpetuating the need for these kind of campaigns. Why do we think we can look at a woman and say "she has no reason to be insecure"? Who gave us the ability to see into a person's deepest hurt and insecurity?

I think it's safe to assume that all women could benefit from this. If you have problems with the ethnicities of these women, then get passed it and put yourself in the situation these women were put in. Don't put up the wall of deciding this isn't worth listening to. How would you describe yourself? How do you think other women would describe you? I think you'd be shocked to see the difference.

We may never be "perfect" but who decides the definition of perfect anyway? What you may see as a flaw, other women envy. I think that says something about our beliefs that there is a certain measurable standard of beauty. We have bought into the lie that being rail thin, blonde, having perfectly thick and shiny hair, long shapely legs, perfect arms, and a flat stomach is the final stamp of approval for beauty. Who made that decision and why are we listening to them? Why are we wasting precious hours of our lives striving to be physically perfect when lets face it, according to that standard, time is working against us and it's going to win. Why not embrace our body's God-given design and strive to live our lives in a healthy, vibrant, and joy-filled way. How much more time would we have for other's if we stopped spending so much time with our insecurities?

If you haven't seen the video, you can watch it here.  Keep in mind, real women come in all shapes, skin colors, and ages. Including the one's we may think are two thin to be "real".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk

All in all, I think Dove deserves applause for at least attempting to portray real women in their commercials and to spread a message that women in our world desperately need. Child, you are more beautiful than you think.

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